Andrew Styles suffers from manic-depression, which is a bipolar disorder. It’s been with him since he was nine years old when he witnessed his father hit his mother with a boot. The boot belonged to Andrew – it was a gift from his third grade teacher for winning a spelling bee. Andrew has always been an excellent English student, and witnessing his mother struck with his boot destroyed the childhood veil covering his fragile mind. Thus began the downward spiral that led to all the mistakes and regrets in his life.
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A perfect example of this manic-depressive spiral would be the time he purchased a sailboat in hopes of leaving his job and sailing around the world. He never did end up sailing around the world, but he did quit his job and purchase a sailboat. Instead, he moved to Michigan and lived on the Great Lakes for sixteen days. During this time he fell in love with a woman named Henrietta, and he was convinced that she was the love of his life. Andrew sold his sailboat and used the money to purchase an engagement ring, but Henrietta pawned it for drug money and left him for her heroine dealer, Fred McGuliver.
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Andrew lost everything he owned in the span of those sixteen days, but this is the life of Andrew Styles. One month he is depressed and hopeless, the next month he is full of dreams. It is much like the bouncing of a rubber ball – high, low, high, low; end. There are even months where the manic-depression subsides and Andrew is lost in a state of confusion, but those are very rare occasions. Andrew usually follows a strict month-to-month schedule for his mania and depression. This last month had been his manic month, and Andrew decided to become a professional comedian.
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It took Andrew three weeks to finally score a gig at a bar across town. The bar is named Buck Down, Glass Up, and it only serves hard liquor. It is the sort of place that holds comedy nights every Wednesday. It has enough seats for thirty-eight people, but only three ever show up, not including the bartender. These three are the regulars that aren’t there for the comedy – they’re there for the Glass Up. In fact, these three are there every night. They sit in silence, and sip their whiskey sours, and listen to songs from their better years. But this is the life of the Buck Down, Glass Up regulars. And they love it that way.
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Stage fright:
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There is absolutely nothing worse than standing in front of a crowd, staring off into a wall of faces and misguided judgment. Fear sets in and your body freezes. The sensation starts in your stomach and surges toward every extremity. Like a pack of wild rats searching for a hole, it infests you, overwhelms you. Then your memory lapses and you’re speaking – words; sounds that mimic drunk drivers. The mouth opens and the brains fires, yet they do not work together. The normal synaptic bond is torn apart, leaving sentences that end too soon or drag on too long. This is exactly what happened to Andrew Styles. He stood among the sounds of the jukebox, saying not a single joke, but lots and lots of senseless words.
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He was then punched in the face by a drunk.
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One of the regulars decided that Andrew was killing their favorite pastime, which was drinking hard liquor at the Buck Down, Glass Up. Her name is Rochelle. Rochelle grew up leading a life of gang activity. She was thrown in jail after stealing a car. In jail, she was reformed and became a Christian activist. She was released early on good behavior and started working with the local church, volunteering her time and giving back to the community. This led to her being raped by some local choir boys after a Saturday night mass, which then led to Rochelle giving up her Christian faith and taking up the alcoholic one. Now, Rochelle spends her nights drinking with the other regulars of the Buck Down, Glass Up. And Rochelle hates watching people in awkward situations – it started in prison when she watched illiterate people trying to read. The sight of Andrew Styles standing on stage, saying nonsensical sentences and sweating under the spotlight, threw Rochelle into an alcoholic frenzy.
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Here is a list of Rochelle’s nicknames:
- Rhino
- Deer Hunter
- Rock Shell
- Bull
- Crete
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To put it plainly: Rochelle is a large, muscular woman. She is not one to mess around with, as she would say, “Words and all those sissy bitch languages.” That last part, “sissy bitch languages,” was picked up when she got into a fight with a French poet in prison. She thought the French poet was insulting her with words that Rochelle had never heard before. It turned out that the French poet was actually complimenting her figure. Rochelle responded, “Cut your sissy bitch languages out,” and then blew out the poet’s kneecap with a swift kick. Rochelle thinks of herself as a true romantic. And she loves it that way.
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Andrew Styles and his newly formed broken nose moved outside the bar after Rochelle’s fists informed him that his comedy was terrible. The bartended gave him a rag and a shot of bourbon on his way out before telling him, “Sometimes you just have to bite the big one.” Andrew didn’t know what big one the bartender was referring to, but he responded, “I’ll keep on chewing.”
Spottings 